Books: The Five Love Languages
Books: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Each year I gave a book to our kids. One year it was Gary Chapman's book about giving and receiving love. This book has been a huge help to me ever since I read it in 1996. I did not understand why my mother gave me presents but would just walk away without any connection back to me. I felt unloved and abandoned. On the other hand she only thanked me for the presents I gave her and did not even acknowledge the countless hours I spent with her.
Once I read this book, it started to make sense to me. She showed love by Gving Gifts. I felt loved by having Quality Time with her. It was like finding a map with directions to another person's heart and the way back to my own.
In Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman describes five ways we can love another person and feel loved ourselves. They are: Gifts, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.
Here is Gary Chapman's lesson on how to share.
Learning to talk: "1. Maintain eye contact when your spouse is speaking 2. Don't listen to your spouse and do something else at the same time. 3. Listen for feelings 4. Observe body language 5. Refuse to interrupt."
He speaks of two kinds of people; "The Dead Sea, This personality type receives many experiences, emotions and thoughts throughout the day....and they are perfectly happy not to talk." and the "Babbling Brook, For this personality type whatever enters the eye of the gate or the ear of the gate comes out the mouth of the gate." He suggests; "You start a daily sharing time where each of you talks about three things that happened that day and how you feel about them." He calls this; "The Minimum Daily Requirement."
This also worked with my children. The way I feel loved turned out to be very different from the way they felt loved. So here we are each thinking we are giving love to another person and not understanding why they do not feel loved.
Gary Chapman has written many more books on this subject, so pick the one that is right for you. The Five Love Languages of Children and The Five Love Languages Singles Edition are two of my favorites.
I am enjoying rediscovering these tools all over again. I hope you find them useful in your life.
Toni Faile Lyerly
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of your Dreams
I love Deepak Chopra's Book: The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams
" Success in life could be defined as the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals." -Deepak Chopra
This book is small but mighty. Use it to guide you each day to become successful in life without feeling like you are always climbing uphill.
Many people I know fit into one of two categories. They are either rushing thru life and barely stopping long enough to grab food and sleep at night or they are trying to fill each day with something to keep them occupied. Both of these described me. But success does not require relentless hard work and struggle with intense ambition.
I can only share my story with you. I was on a treadmill whizzing thru life since I was 10 years old. My family had moved to New York City and I was attending the Academy of Ballet and Theater Arts, which filled my every moment. I tried to get 36 hours out of a 24 hour day. The pendulum of my life swung in the opposite direction when we moved to Tombstone Arizona. All my goals went out the window. I now tried to stretch 18 hours into 24 and find something to make me happy. I always thought some people were just lucky. I became overwhelmed trying to do everything I read about from diet, to exercise, changing habits and working harder.
Then one day the a door slammed in my face, when I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. Rushing thru or just filling my days was no longer an option. I needed to enrich every moment.
Often people are busy trying to make enough money to live the life they think will make them happy. They buy more “stuff” to help them “relax” or shuttle their kids to “more and more” after school sports or classes. They get buried under a mound of Self Help Books and TV shows offering a solution. Or they have a reason why they have “NO” choice.
If you are one of these people then know life can be calmer and more enriching. I put the Seven Spiritual Laws into practice. You only focus on doing one law each day. It is so freeing to not worry about the mound of things I want to change about myself. God made us an integral part of the world. So I now let my life ebb and flow in tune with nature. I am ready to accept all of the blessing flowing my way. Follow the law of the day and begin to slow down to a more enriching life.
The Seven Laws are:
The Law of Pure Potentiality
The Law of Giving & Receiving
The Law of Karma or Cause and Effect
The Law of Least Effort
The Law of Intention and Desire
The Law of Detachment
The Law of Dharma or Purpose in Life
Some quotes from the book by Deepak Chopra
1. " When you struggle against this moment, you're actually struggling against the entire universe."
2. "But when our internal reference point is our spirit, our actions are motivated by love, and there is no waste of energy. Our energy multiplies, and the surplus energy we gather can be channeled to create anything we want, including unlimited wealth. When we harness the power of harmony and love, we use our energy creatively for the experience of affluence and evolution."
3. " You become the victim of the past, and your tormentor today is your self left over from yesterday."
Please read this book and learn the law for each day. This is such a quick and simple way to live a more fulfilled and happy life.
Toni Faile Lyerly